Last Night’s Dream
As do many people who have fallen victim to the bottom of the bottle, I mostly drink to forget. It has always been a convenient way to check out of reality for a while; to just cease being responsible for my actions and phase out of the same reality as everyone else for a bit. Those of you out there who have either been at the bottom of that bottle before or have a least come close know what I mean. It’s not the same as just drinking too much or being the guy who shows up to the party with a nice buzz going already, only to later take it too far and shit himself after passing out on the host’s lawn.
Real alcoholism is a much darker place. It’s a place where you wake up and the first thing you want to do, after you throw your guts up of course, is crawl right back into that bottle. The pain becomes a self-feeding cycle which you can’t escape, but you’ll drink more in order to try to get away from it anyway.
I’ve been to that point several times in my life and brought myself back from the brink each time. I’ve never quit drinking entirely, but I’ve been lucky enough to never fall so far that I can’t climb my way back out, even if it takes me a few years.Continue Reading